You Still Haven’t Watched ‘The Wire’ Yet?

dude you need to watch the wire

“The f*** is you thinkin’?” Stringer Bell would ask, incredulously. You haven’t been able to spare a mere 60 hours of your life to absorb this socially-aware, brilliantly commentative masterwork? To meet all of its characters and, amazingly, find yourself understanding and feeling each one’s personal woes and strife? To reach one of those exhilarating moments when a slowly-building story arc pays off in spades and devastates every other story arc in its wake? Oh, man. That sucks.

“I don’t like cop shows,” you’ll say. They all say that. I say that, too. F*** the cop shows. Those 43-minute schlock pieces where the case is presented from start to finish in a neat little package, filled to the brim with pseudoscientific/legal jargon and pithy one-liners? Straight garbage. The Wire’s not like that at all, bro-man. It’s HBO. It’s different.

the wire poster
It’s 5 interwoven seasons touching on the personal plight of the average cop, detective, drug dealer, drug addict, lawyer, mayor, journalist, dock-worker, teacher, and kingpin in a small Rust Belt city in the United States. Namely: Baltimore, Maryland.

The obscurity of Baltimore alone should pique anyone’s interest; New York and Los Angeles have, by now, become cliché locales for police drama shows and movies. Filming on-location in a city like “Bodymore Murdaland” just feels much more down-to-Earth. More believable. Did I mention how believable this show was?

Murders, investigations, raids and prosecutions all take time to develop. The payoff isn’t instantaneous, it’s earned. You realize early-on in the series that your patience is rewarded handsomely and, while grim, the story only escalates as it continues. Someone’s back-talk gets them killed a few episodes later. A plot element that you were already aware of gets discovered by the police and the whole case unravels from there. One character’s dirty trick comes back to bite them after a whole season. It’s beautifully calculated. Read this HBO The Wire review.

The level of satisfaction you’ll gain from watching it just can’t be described. In fact, you’re really doing yourself a disservice by not watching it, dude. I mean it. I’m just trying to help. You know how, when you were in high school and everyone told you to watch Fight Club, and you were like, “Yeah, sure, someday,” and when you finally did, it blew your f***ing mind and made you feel like the smartest guy in the room? Yeah, it’s like that, only in greater abundance and concentration. You’ll hate yourself for having waited so long.

I assure you: The first episodes begin slow but, once you’ve found the groove, you won’t be able to watch just one anymore. You’ll watch episodes in blocks. Swaths. Marathons, even.

It’s been 5 years since it ended. You need to cut the excuses and watch this. Now.

Who Gives A S*** About A Justice League Movie In 2021

justice league movie
I loved The Avengers and all the other Marvel movies that have been released during their Phase 1 movement (even The Incredible Hulk).  Ever since The Avengers blew up broke records at the box office, we have heard rumblings that Warner Bros. is working to develop a Justice League movie.  However those rumblings have been Hulk smashed to death as obstacle after obstacle seem to get in the way.  So many reports have come out that even Thor would say “A shit, who gives it”.

Warner Bros. originally said the Justice League would come out in 2015 to rival The Avengers 2 which is to be released the same year.  Then WB came out and said that the movie is pending on how well the upcoming Man of Steel movie does in theaters.  While its almost a given that Man of Steel will do extremely well in theaters, we heard a new story that the script that was penned by Will Beall (who also wrote 2013′s Gangster Squad) was flat out TERRIBLE.  It sucked so much ass that they completely scrapped it and a new script will have to be developed from scratch.  Now a brand new story is saying that the Justice League may not see any screen-time till 2021 as they want to wait till they reboot Batman…again.Why are they waiting so long? Warner Bros. and DC Comics don’t want to jeopardize their Untitled Batman Reboot, and they are afraid that if Justice League bombs, Bruce Wayne won’t be invited back to the big screen for some time to come. A Man of Steel sequel won’t arrive until at least 2016. That puts the Batman relaunch somewhere between 2017 and 2019. That means, if they follow their planned release strategy, Justice League won’t hit screens until at least 2021. Here are the tumors for the Justice League Part One cast.

Meanwhile, Marvel should be pumping out their third Avengers film at that time if not before that.  Look…I dig the DC characters.  I often feel DC comics put more into their characters by giving them original places to live (Gotham, Metropolis, Oa, ect) and make them more original.  But when it comes time to turn them into movies they often fail.  Not to say they flop at the box office but the people that enjoy the characters are usually disappointed and unhappy with the result (i.e. Green Lantern and Superman Returns).

Where Marvel did it right was the setup.  They released five different movies in the span of three years to setup The Avengers.  To make a decent movie they’ll need to reboot Batman and probably Green Lantern after that debacle.  They will also need to release a stand alone Flash movie as well as make sequels to Man of Steel.  They’ll also have to explain any other characters in the JL movie including Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter and possibly Green Arrow which all its recent TV success on The CWI am all about watching a Justice League movie but I don’t think it will ever work.  The only heavy hitters you have on the roster for a movie is Batman and Superman.  I feel all the other characters wouldn’t be able to hold their own in a stand alone movie.  Green Lantern kind of proved that.  If the characters don’t get their own movie, you’ll have to explain how they are involved within the JL movie.  That means you’d have to explain four or five characters in one movie while also carrying out the movie’s main plot line.  I think it would be a mess.  Character stuff aside, The Justice League is just TOO large.  The people who fight the JL are often a group of super-villains or enormous rulers from other planets.  So while you have all those heroes doing their thing, you have to explain where the villains are coming from.  When it’s all combined its just too much.

I hope I am wrong.  They did it with The Avengers and it was great.  But whenever I read articles or fan boys exclaiming about a Justice League movie all I can think is…well…WHO GIVES A SHIT!